I must visit a subject that seems to creep into conversation a lot lately.

It's about hair.

Not the type on the head. As erotic as I find it to have someone stroke slowly through it, lingering on the ends, sifting through the strands until I want to give in to anything...ahem. Sorry. No, not talking about that.

I'm talking about pubic hair, of course. There needs to be a new name for it. Pubic just sounds too much like putrid or something equally disagreeable. And honestly, it doesn't have to be that bad. Hair is really no big deal and I wish that the American public would stop freaking about the pubic. We need a new name so people won't be so scared of it.

Bush is passe, at best, though as a nudist, I have met some women who could house a small nature sanctuary in theirs. Bush also doesn't describe men accurately. Well, most men, anyway. They're more like “Tree with Much Scrub at the Base.” Waaaay too wordy.

I can't think of a good name for it, at present. Love locks? Geni-tresses?

For women it could be Kitten Curls, or Mound Mane. Snatch thatch! That's fun.

For men, what about Cock Coiff? Phallic Fur? I'm thinking Weenie Wig.

OK, they may not be exactly inspired, but they're definitely more interesting than "pubic hair". I'm taking suggestions.